Leadership Matters April 2014 1

When a board member treats you poorly, meet with the board member privately after the board meeting. Describe their behavior calmly, and try to remain matter-of-fact. Make it clear that their behavior was unacceptable. Make it clear that the behavior makes it more difficult for them to accomplish what they want with you and the rest of the board. Bad behavior undermines a board member’s credibility and respect with fellow board members and the administrative team, and that makes it more difficult for the individual to accomplish what they want. These are difficult conversations and hopefully

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In a case in which a board or member is abusive to you or a member of your team you must muster the courage to speak up in a professional manner and to set tangible boundaries. For example, if a board member attacks you publicly at a board meeting in front of your administrative team and members of the public, meet with the individual in private and, if necessary, with the board president present. Describe for the individual the unacceptable behavior and make it clear that it is inappropriate. Tell them that they can say anything they want to you in private,

but you will not tolerate similar public displays. Personally, I am willing to put up with a lot of abuse when it is directed at me, but when members of my administrative team are attacked I intervene.

you will not have many of them. Yet, you must have the courage to confront the issue and to be assertive -- even if you are betting your job on it. Most people respect the fact that you are addressing your concern with them rather than gossiping or conspiring behind their back. Most rational people also know when they are wrong. Have you considered your options? Some of the best “teachable moments” for board members are when one of its members misbehaves or steps out of bounds. Seize

“Bad boards can create a culture of fear where people are afraid to speak up and to stick to their convictions. Courage is a critical attribute of effective leaders, but don’t confuse being disrespectful or aggressive with courage. Speak up and be assertive, but never be unprofessional or disrespectful or your behavior will become the focus of the conversation.”

Are you assertive enough in

dealing with “bad behavior?”

Assertiveness involves making your boundaries clear. A primary role of the board concerns defining the “sand box” that you are to play in as the leader of the district. It is important that you have frank discussions with the board about the boundaries of the sand box so that it is clear when either you or any board members are out of bounds. Being assertive means clearly articulating your needs and the agreed upon boundaries between the board

and superintendent. This assertiveness is vital to your emotional well-being and your effectiveness as a leader of the district. Bad boards can create a culture of fear where people are afraid to speak up and to stick to their convictions. Courage is a critical attribute of effective leaders, but don’t confuse being disrespectful or aggressive with courage. Speak up and be assertive, but never be unprofessional or disrespectful or your behavior will become the focus of the conversation. Can you still support your board publicly? You will have disagreements with a board member over an issue. Avoid publicly debating the individual or publicly criticizing a member of the board. Look for positive attributes in the individual or in the decision of the entire board and try to publicly affirm these attributes. This type of loyalty may pay off later.

those opportunities to hold a mirror up in front of the board or individual members so that they can fully appreciate how their actions impact others. Follow up with a discussion of lessons learned from an experience and set clear goals or norms for the future. If the situation is bad enough, it may warrant your resignation. I have seen many people in bad situations with boards in which they have tolerated repeated abuse and personal attacks that are not good for them or the district that they serve. Sometimes, the issue is simply summoning the courage to speak up and to set clear boundaries with rogue board members or the full board. Remember, we get what we tolerate. It also is good to remember that it is your choice to remain trapped in an untenable situation. While you may sometimes feel as if the board controls everything, they can’t control your response to their bad behavior.

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